As couples grow in love, they will likely journey through harrowing and traumatic experiences: failures, death, illness, failures, and many more undesired eventualities. But, ultimately, Kenyans are often at the forefront with the outpouring of the spirit of togetherness and unity through the hard times for most couples. All in all, the pair have each other to walk through the complex terrain of grief. While it’s too much to handle, the grief period for the couple is necessary for the establishment of a solid partnership, therefore knowing what to say to a grieving partner is essential.
Leonard M. Zunin and Hilary Stanton Zunin, a couple and authors of The Art of Condolence, point out that the big challenge about grieving is that people are often losing what to say a grieving person. The authors draw their confidence from their vast experiences and expertise. Leonard M. Zunin Being a senior psychiatric consultant, researcher, and lecturer. While Hilary Stanton Zunin, a teacher of English and creative arts at Napa High School, has expertise in helping school children’s grief.
While the general assumption is that couples equally go through a hard time. The truth is that every individual team has an unusual reaction and struggle. Therefore, it is essential not to assume that what worked for one partner will work for the other. But give them an ear, hold them sit in silence, or run their errands. What matters is your presence.
- Allow them to cry
- Let them know its okay to have the worst moments in life
- Allow them to grieve their loved ones in their unique ways
- Awkward silence is okay, be comfortable with it
- Offer help that works
- Avoid saying damaging clichés
- Let the couple talk over and over
- Remind them that grief doesn’t have an end date
- Give comfort
It is a challenging moment to witness a Kenyan couple undergoing the excruciating pain of loss and death of a loved one. Yet, when you support, love and comforting words are essential for their healing.